


Countdown

by yikesola



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2010, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, long distance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 16:04:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17531876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikesola/pseuds/yikesola
Summary: Dan has to leave soon. Phil’s trying not to think about it, trying to enjoy his Dan-time while he can, but heisthinking about it.A fic about long distance and making the most out of limited time.





	Countdown

January’s almost over, and February’s going to take Dan far away.

Phil’s trying not to think about it, trying to enjoy his Dan-time while he can, but he _is_ thinking about it. It’s all he can think about. Especially now that Dan’s fallen asleep and left Phil alone with the thoughts that aren’t thoughts at all, they’re more like whines and worries set on repeat.

Dan’s going to be impossibly far away. Not just down south in Wokingham— he’ll be in India, they’ll be apart for twenty-six entire freaking days.

Sure, only fifteen of those will they actually be in different time zones. Sure, Dan’s coming straight back to Rawtenstall for five days afterwards before even heading down to Reading. But still… twenty-six days!

It’ll be the most days they’ve spent apart since they met.

Phil genuinely doesn’t know how he’s gonna manage it.

He can’t remember how he managed twenty-two entire goddamn years without Dan. But now that he’s met Dan and held him close and tasted his morning breath and knows what he looks like at each individual hour of the day, it all feels like it’s gonna be impossible.

He thinks chopping off his right arm would be less painful, and easier to adapt to. He could get a prosthetic, he could learn to write with his left hand (and honestly, with the state of his handwriting as is, it wouldn’t be all that worse), he could save a fortune in gloves by having each pair last twice as long. But the gaping void left by Dan being away for nearly a month? He’s just gonna wilt and wither away, and his ashes will be blown scattered in the breeze, and Dan will look so tragic and pretty mourning him that even Phil’s ghost will be in love…

Okay… well, fuck— maybe he’s being _a bit_ dramatic. Maybe he’s being stupid. He laughs at himself and the movement of his shoulder jostles Dan, but he keeps sleeping through it. Phil wraps his arm around Dan tighter, and he feels Dan sink closer into the crook of his body.

He fits so well there. They were designed to slot into one another.

So maybe Phil fell too hard, too fast.

And maybe he’s going to survive twenty-six Dan-less days just fine because in those twenty-six days he’ll still have food and water and a bed and an internet connection.

And maybe people are right when they say that Valentine’s Day is just a stupid commercialised holiday meant to sell chocolates and flowers which Phil can buy for Dan literally any time, so it doesn’t matter if they’re in the same country on the actual day or not.

And maybe he’s still allowed to be sad, because it feels like he never gets enough time with Dan. Even if they supplement it with frequent lengthy Skype calls and as many visits as they can possibly squeeze out of their weary bank accounts.

It feels like they’re always saying “goodbye” and “I miss you” and “I wish I was there with you” in a way that Phil has no doubt is worth everything for the scraps of time they do get together, but which is still hard. He’ll admit it readily enough. It’s hard to be kept from your favourite person so often.

Moreover, while he’s still feeling pouty, it _does_ seem a bit unfair of Dan to fall asleep like this when their time is so limited.

They’re downstairs watching a film in the old pink-coloured playroom, curled up on the sofa. Phil can’t really blame Dan for being worn out. They haven’t gotten up to much actual sleep this weekend.

So he isn’t cruel enough to wake Dan up, though the thought does cross his mind.

Instead, he starts shifting his body lower until he’s lying on his back with his head against the armrest. Dan’s moved with him, still half asleep, letting out tiny grunts of complaint. Once they’re settled, Dan’s lying on top of him, his arms curled into his chest and his face in the crook of Phil’s neck.

Phil’s arms are running along Dan’s spine. He’s just feeling. He’s just taking note of Dan’s warmth and the smoothness of his skin which he can feel when he moves the hem of Dan’s shirt out of his way.

One hand moves a little lower and his fingers dip slightly into the dimples on Dan’s back. Dan’s breathing had gone heavy again after they’d laid down, but he does let out a soft little satisfied sigh as Phil’s hands continue to trace abstract patterns on any skin he can reach.

Phil kisses the top of Dan’s head. Dan had showered that morning and never bothered to straighten his hair since they weren’t going into town, and the curled wisps tickle Phil’s nose. He’s a little worried he’ll sneeze and break this perfect moment.

He doesn’t, though. But he figures even if he had sneezed, the moment would’ve still been perfect.

He would’ve startled Dan awake, but then Dan would’ve laughed and said something that qualifies as an insult, but he would’ve said it with sparkling eyes and a tone so fond Phil would feel warmth spreading through his veins.

Instead, Phil doesn’t sneeze and Dan keeps snoozing and the warmth is seeping into Phil’s veins anyway because Dan is warm through and through and he’s draped over Phil like the best blanket in the world.

He kisses the top of Dan’s head again.

He still can’t believe he gets to do this. He’s Dan’s person. He’s someone’s someone. He loves him so much it makes him a little afraid sometimes because it all looks so completely different from anything he’s ever felt before in his life. But it’s good. It’s the best thing he’s ever known. He loves him.

Eventually he feels the slightest pressure of Dan’s lips moving against his neck. He feels Dan shift and stir and eventually stretch his arms before they turn to face one another.

Dan’s smile is as warm as the rest of him.

“How much longer?” he asks.

Phil lifts an arm to the crease in the sofa cushions where his phone had fallen. He checks the time. “Eleven hours,” he says.

Dan looks sad at that. Phil hates it. He wants to pout and whine that they’ll be separated soon and indulge in the same catastrophizing he’d been up to when Dan was napping, but now that Dan’s awake and looking at him so sadly he wouldn’t dream of it.

He manages a smile— it’s really never difficult to smile around Dan— and cranes his neck to kiss him. “Let’s make them a good eleven hours, yeah?”

Dan nods. He smiles. He kisses Phil back.

They’re going to make the most of the time they have left together, like they always do. They’re going to make it through the twenty-six days apart by gritting their teeth and communicating and counting down the days, like they always do. They’re going to reunite afterwards and soak one another up and feel like their hearts have started beating again, like they always do.

And they’ll keep doing so until they don’t have to anymore. Until their time together so greatly outnumbers their time apart.

Until instead of “goodbye” and “I miss you” and “I wish you were here” they’re saying “hello” and “I love you” and “I’m so glad you’re here” and they’re together so much they manage to get sick of each other even if the very idea right now seems laughable.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading— come say hi on [tumblr](http://yikesola.tumblr.com/post/182276116699/countdown) !


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